The True Face of Old Mr Grace
by BasilBJr
Summary: At Grace Brothers' Department Store, a shocking revelation answers an enduring mystery.


**THE TRUE FACE OF OLD MR. GRACE.**

 **Standard Disclaimer about not owning the rights to anything mentioned in this story.**

The store was not yet open, and the Staff were milling about waiting for the shrill ring of the opening bell. Capt. Peacock had already taken his normal position, looking down at the rest of the Staff ready to reprimand for not working fast enough, and ready to reprimand Mr. Harman or any other maintenance man who happened to stray near the floor. For their part the counter staff went about their duties, oblivious to Peacock's scrutiny. They had better things to do than stand around with their noses in the air. On the Ladies, counter, Mrs Slocombe and Miss Brahms uncovered their busts and struggled to open their drawers. No matter what anyone did their drawers were always sticking. On the Mens' counter, Mr. Klein and Mr. Spooner aided Mr. Humphries as he puffed french chalk over their drawers to ease the gummy runners. In the background Miss Bishop and the other shop girls worked on their counter, quite content to ignore and be ignored by the rest of the department.

The Staff barely noticed When Mr. Rumbold came out of his office on onto the floor. For his part, Rumbold did his best to ignore the Staff, covering his benign incompetence with an attempt at semi-divine detachment. He went over to Peacock and told him to gather everyone around because he had an announcement. Even though the Staff heard Rumbold and were already making their way to the center of the Floor, Peacock nonetheless loudly summoned them, calling them over individually.  
" I've just received a call from Old Mr. Grace." Rumbold said. "He wants us to come up to the Boardroom." Rumbold looked up reverently as he always did when he said the word. "So I think we should go up there with all speed."

The Staff waited anxiously at the table in the boardroom. Every time they were called up to the boardroom, it meant something drastic. soon, speculation ran rampant.  
"Maybe it's another takeover bid." Peacock said  
"I hope not." Mr. Humphries said "I don't want to have to work in the kitchen again.  
"Maybe it's someone's birthday and we'll have to do a performance.," Mr. Spooner said  
"Maybe the Canteen Staff complained again, and we're gonna have to run the canteen again." said Miss Brahms.  
"Oh no,"said Mrs. Slocombe "I'm not dealing with any more frogs." Just then, Mr Harman entered the room.  
"Mr. Grace will be along in a few minutes. he said in his barely intelligible Cockney voice.  
"What's this all about, Harman?" Peacock asked.  
"You know, even I don't know, and that's unusual." Indeed it was very unusual. Maintenance seemed to know what was going on in the store long before anyone else. For even Mr. Harman not to know meant that Old Mr.  
Grace was keeping his secret to himself. Quite frankly, they didn't think Old Mr. Grace was capable of that kind of secrecy. Truth be told, they didn't have the same affection for Old Mr. Grace that they had for Young Mr. Grace.  
Young Mr. Grace had a passion and dedication that Old Mr. Grace lacked.  
With Old Mr. Grace, everything seemed forced, like he was doing them a favor by being there.

A few minutes later, Old Mr, Grace finally arrived, accompanied by Rumbold, Harman, Nurse Vivienne, and secretary Virginia Edwards. The Staff stood respectfully.  
"Good morning everyone." Mr. Grace said.  
"Good morning, Mr. Grace." The Staff said in unison. Mr. Grace was helped into his seat, then the Staff sat down.  
"Mr. Grace has an announcement." Rumbold repeated. "Mr. Grace."  
"I've been here for some time now," Old Mr. Grace said in his hoarse voice "And you've all done very well."  
"Thank you Mr. Grace."  
"So, now it's time for you to see who I really am." Old Mr. Grace tossed his cane away and stood up without any assistance. He grabbed some his more prominent wrinkles and began to pull. Surprisingly, they began to peel away. More followed, revealing that he was wearing prosthetics suitable for a movie set. When completed, the Staff no longer saw a bald old man. Instead they saw a much younger man with thick dark hair. Moreover, it was a face they recognized. One that they had not seen in a long time, and one that they never thought they would see again.

They looked upon the leering visage of Mr. Lucas.

"That's right, it's me, it's always been me! Surprised? You thought I would just take all your abuse sitting down? Never. I've been biding my time all these years waiting for my chance at revenge. Didn't any of you think it was odd that I left just before Old Mr. Grace arrived? No, you probably didn't. You thought that you were rid of me and didn't give it another thought. Wrong! The real Old Mr. Grace doesn't get around at all. He's retired to a Manor in the West Country. Do you know how I know? Because he is my Grandfather. That's right. My poor, old, crippled mother, who is neither poor, old, or crippled, is the daughter of Old Mr. Grace and the showgirl Annie Grainger. And do you know who Annie Grainger is? Mr. Grainger's sister, Mr. Humphries, you thought you were Old Mr. Grace's son? I got a particularly good laugh out of that one, you silly fairy cake. That's right, I worked for one Grand-Uncle and on the same counter with another, and none of you were the wiser. Idiots! When I heard that Uncle YMG was leaving, I saw my chance. I spoke to Grandfather and he gave me the details. When Mr. Humphries caught Marine's Disease, it was my idea to put you in the bedding storeroom. I threatened to move you into the Bargain Basement because I knew just how you'd react. I knew you were on the roof the whole time. I was just having too much fun interviewing secretaries to care. And with the beauty contest, I just wanted to see you make bigger fools of yourselves than you already are. And Mrs. Slocombe, you exceeded my expectations. It was worth the 600 quid. In fact, it was all worth it to make you all squirm." Mr Lucas paused there to let his words sink in. The Staff were shaking with fear and frustration. The man they had once treated with such contempt was now apparently in a position to fire them. Even Mr. Spooner was fearful. Although he had never met his predecessor, he knew of him by reputation, and wondered if his position would be called into question. Mr. Klein also had never worked with Lucas, but he wondered if he would be caught up in guilt by association.

Mr. Lucas looked at their confused and bewildered faces and laughed.  
"I'll bet you wish you'd gone out with me now, don't you, Miss Brahms. You could have been over here," he said, pointing next to him, "instead of over there." He pointed to where she sat. "And believe me, moving from there to here makes all the difference. You'll probably end up working in an East End Laundrette with your cousin. Spooner, no one gets cheeky with Mrs. Slocombe but me. Stick to singing, you're at least good at that. Mr. Klein, I have no real issue with you, it's just that you'll never been the Senior Mr. Grainger was. God rest his soul. As for you Corporal, I mean Captain Peacock. You are not management. You are not Upper Middle Management, you are not Lower Middle Management, you are not any kind of Management at all. Floorwalkers are Senior Staff. The fact that you use the Executive Bog does not change that fact. And before you say another word, let me tell you that before he left, Mr. Goldberg gave me some more information on that Corporal he mistook for you." The protest Peacock was about to make died in his throat. Turning to Rumbold, Lucas said "Young Mr. Grace was right, you are too boring. Oh, and Mr. Harman, you may go on the Floor any time you want."

Harman had watched the events unfold for a corner of the room. He really didn't know it was going to happen, but he loved every minute of it. He would have quite a story to tell the lads in Packing. Maybe he would even call Mash.

Mr Lucas offered his arm to Virginia Edawards. "Come along, Dear."  
He said "We have a reservation at the Ritz."  
"Yes, Mr. Lucas." she said excitedly. Lucas shook his head.  
"Dick."


End file.
